In the spirit of New Year’s, I am tempted to make a resolution that will make me happier, thinner, clutter-less, more productive, or just plain better as a human being. However, I’m 27 years old, and a realist. I know that resolutions rarely stick (science has proven this, people) and as a result, I’m happy to produce a list of “Would-Be New Year’s Resolutions” … the things that might have worked given different temperaments or time frames, but just won’t work. Ever. Who wants to kick off 2013 with some satire? Here we go.
1. Hang up coats in the coat closet. Seems simple enough, right? Cue the annoying “fail” noise. Ehhhhhh. Or baannnnhhhhhh, perhaps? When we walk in the house and through our living room, the dining room table is the first thing you see. We don’t have a mud room, remember? Coats are hung on the dining table chairs.
Griffin says: Hang up the damn coats!
Accessing the coat closet requires walking behind the open front door and walking around our large living room couch. Editor’s note: NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN. Most days, we are in a rush off to work or are just plain lazy. Coats will remain on the chairs. Unless company is expected, of course. Then those coats are hung neatly in the coat closet, naturally.
2. Have Matt take on more house-cleaning responsibilities. Ha. Haha. Thiiiis. Will. Never. Ever. Ever. Get back together. Work. Like. Ever. Not because Matt isn’t willing to help. He is willing to help! He totally is. I, however, am a complete perfectionist. Okaaaay, maybe not a perfectionist, per se, but I like how I do things and that’s they way they have to be done. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, you name it. It needs to be done a certain way and Matt cannot duplicate. Period.
3. Watch less TV. This is an interesting one, because we don’t have a TV in our bedroom. Side note: I have never had a TV in my bedroom. Even in college. I’m a bedroom TV virgin. To a T. And I like it that way. I sleep soundly, 8+ hours a night - and I always have. I attribute it to having no artificial light or sound in my room before bedtime. Matt thinks I’m crazy. He’d have a 52” in our bedroom if I’d let it happen. End side note. Despite only having the living room TV and a smaller kitchen TV, we seem to watch a lot of it. We’re obsessed with How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, New Girl, Happy Endings, Revenge, Nashville and Selling LA/NY, to name just a few. So yeah…those shows are awesome, and we aren’t ready to give them up, so it looks like we’ll kick off 2013 watching the same amount of TV. End of story.
- _**Keep the dining room table clear of clutter. **_This one is tough, because we really do give this one our best shot. Well, I give it my best shot. Due to our lack of a traditional entryway where I could put a console table and a bowl to catch keys and such, the dining room table is where we unload. Purchases, hats, gloves, keys, wallets, dog treats, purses - you name it. It all gets dumped.
I clear the table fairly immediately of those things, putting them where they need to go. Just a few of Matt’s belongings… his hat, wallet, keys, gloves, phone and his paperwork that needs “immediate action” like bills, or a coupon to remind him to get his oil changed remain. on. the. table. always. These things are constants on the table, and it’s a constant conversation as to why he can’t keep those things on his dresser. Because he insists that he needs them kept where he can see them. As you can tell, this conversation goes nowhere, and the dining room table will never look like the ones in the magazines. Sigh.
5. Make a monthly to-do list for the house and report back at the end of the month with the results. I tried this here with my November to-do list. Did you get a chance to read that? Well, don’t get too excited, because it didn’t work, so that’s the last one I’m going to do. #fail To think - I’m a list-y person! The thing is, wen we fix things in the house, we are constantly jumping around from room and room and basing our projects on time constraints, weather constraints, and money constraints. So if I set a goal, especially publicly on the blog, and don’t get to it, I feel discouraged. Not that I’m against feeling that way, (sometimes it spurs motivation!) but we prefer to work in a hippie-ish, free-flowing time frame and do projects as the house directs us. A yearly to-do list, however, I am willing to try…
I’m going to sit down with Matt and figure out our goals for 2013. If we don’t get to them, no biggie, but it’s good for us to have an overall project direction over 12 months, as opposed to a detailed monthly list. Keep a lookout for that list over the next couple of days.
So there you go - my list of satirical would-be resolutions. You can’t win ‘em all. Or in this post, you can’t win any of them.
Keeping in the spirit of New Year’s, I’m going to enjoy my day off with my husband and our pup, doing things we enjoy. I hope you enjoy your day, too!
Oh, and I know I say this all the time, but thank you for reading. It means a lot. A LOT. I hope I provide you with some funny insight into our rehabbing world and maybe some tips along the way,too. I’ve looooooved creating this blog and it has provided me so much fun (and some new friends!) over the last 9 months. I’m so excited to start my first full year of blogging in 2013. Bring it!